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My eyes can not lie you are the one I choose. Having you was a prayer come true. The first day day I met you I knew you were the one for me Everything is magical.

Your love is sweet darling.

I’m so lucky to have you. I’m so lucky to call you my happiness; my love you are a dream come true. Proud to have you proud to call you mine. I am not ashamed.

I will always stick with you no matter what . THOUGH disappointments come from me unexpectedly always know that I respect you. Our fights our bad days make me realize how much you mean to me. I value every single moment we spend together.

That little attention you give me makes me forget about my troubles and think more of us.

You more than gold my love . I’m glad I got the best riches in this world. As days goes by, I hope I’ll be a part of you, a part of your life.

Love, I have come to realize that is not a bed of roses, it’s not a walk in the park. Love, has its ups and downs, thicks and thins; but through it all, my love, I promise to stand with you, I promise to be intentional about making time for us. I promise to forgive and be kind to you at all times, even when it’s too difficult.

Domestic violence is very common in most African homes. Domestic violence is the pattern/behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Domestic violence includes behavior that could frighten scare intimidate hurt humiliate blame wound or injure someone.

Domestic violence can affect anyone of any race sexual orientation Age or gender. It can happen to people living together married people a couple or a even to roommates. Domestic violence can also he referred to as abuse. It could either be in a physical way financial way , emotional way, psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person.

What are the some of the reasons that result to domestic violence?

When married women feel that their partners aren’t fully supporting them either financially or in making family decisions they end up beating up their hands.in most cases they even fight in front of their children.

Men also face Violence. When the man of the house is unable to provide the needs of the family they end up getting abused; mentally or threats. Sometimes the women even involve the kids in beating up the the fathers. This denies the fathers the respect they deserve from their families especially from the kids. When kids beat up their dads they see no value and see no importance to respect their dads.

In Couples or people living together sometimes they may go through abuse. It could be because of disagreements. When one person cheat their partner they end up being beaten. Abuse can even result into death sometimes.

Violence can also be seen when one partner is forced to stay in a relationship which is toxic. If a partner is a drug addict he or she may influence the partner to use them by force. This denies one of freedom

Men also beat up their wives when they fail to give in fully to their needs. They mostly are beaten hurt emotionally and sometimes assaulted. Men also abuse their children when they fail to perform in school as expected of them by parents.

Sometimes there is abuse in public places. We find women who dress revealingly Being touched in inappropriate way. This is sexual abuse in a way.

What are the results of Violence?

Children who have seen their parents fight develop a bad perspective towards family and ultimately marriage. They become hard on themselves and sometimes withdraw from others.

School performances also tend to drop because their mind becomes preoccupied to thinking of home affairs

Men who have undergone abuse form their wives mostly become depressed and developing mental health issues. they fail to see their value; most of them prefer to stay alone rather than getting into new relationship because of fear of abuse. Women who undergo abuse also develop a depression issues and some also end up getting separated .

When one faces Domestic violence what is the immediate action to take??

Abuse is a thing no one ever wants to face we should advocate for it and those who Abuse others should be arrested for breaking the law. If you are a survivor of abuse it is important to report to the nearest authority it could be either to the chief or police station. If the victim of abuse is a child it is advisable to report to any child office near you or call the hotline number 116.

One can also reach out to organizations that help in dealing with such cases. Example of such organization is the Critical incident stress management unit .

Let’s advocate for domestic violence and make the world a better place. Domestic violence doesn’t affect females only but also men thus we should empathize of this “domestic violence is a human issue”. Let’s educate those who aren’t aware.

Many at times we look at the problems facing the Girl child but rarely look at our boy child. What are the challenges that men face from childhood to adulthood. What have we done as the society to help them?

Growing up, the boy child, more often than not is compared to a lion or a male cork. Even when the small boy falls down he rarely receives a sorry from his parents and people around him. They are expected to be “hard”.

In our society today, we forget that males are humans too they have feelings too. We assume that the male gender can face any situation by themselves.

Criticism is another thing that the males undergo. We mock and throw stones when they mess up not remembering “Let the one that’s sinless be the first to cast a stone”. Criticism is good but when it constantly is negative and from both women and men(attacking fellow men), then it gets really draining.

Parental Control.

In (some) cases, men want the autonomy to make certain decisions such as the girl to marry, where to live, when to leave a certain job etc but parents tend to interfere with the notion that “they know what is best for their kids”. It’s in the nature of a man to want and need space to do whatever they want not being controlled by anyone.

No room to express their feelings. Many at times men are faced with difficult situations mostly financially and mentally. Sometimes their social behavior could want someone to advice them but there isn’t room for that. This mostly drags most of them into depression and overthinking that can damage their mental health.

Women’s view of how men are. Women and the society in general have the assumption that men are made of steel and that they can handle any situation or problems that comes their way. And that’s where we go wrong.

In the past, our society that was male-chauvinistic was hell-bent towards the empowerment of men and so there arose movements such as “UNHCR”, “The Feminists” movement to fight for equal rights and opportunities for both genders.

These movements served their purpose until a time when women have now gained the spotlight, the world and all these movements have fought really hard to eradicate male chauvinism and create a world where both genders are equal but to some degree this has only left the boy-child in the shadows as the fight for equal rights continues.

It’s difficult to say that we have achieved gender equality because now it’s like we are slowly replacing the patriarchal system with a matriarchal system. Feminism which was a good movement aimed at bringing an equilibrium in both genders rights is now a venomous and toxic movement which I feel like isn’t aiming to fight for equal rights only but also to put women on a higher level than men in terms of opportunities. Feminism fights for equal rights and opportunities but not for equal responsibilities.

An interviewee had these sentiments.

I’m allowed to be emotional and cry whenever and no one will judge me for that but when a man cries, he’s weak? We judge them and mock them. We don’t listen to them but laugh at them.

What can we do to make the society a better place for our sons Brothers uncles and fathers.

Initiatives to empower the young male generations would help them. Teaching them how to be in touch with their emotions and creating an environment where they can safely do this.

Mental health campaigns /institutions which are men friendly would help them.

Be friendly to the boy child around you. Whether family or not, show love to them don’t make life difficult for them. Let’s not underestimate, mock, disrespect them. Let us make the world a better place for them.

Normalize checking up on your male friends; these people need love, someone to talk to. Be a supportive friend not a laughing friend.

Rape is the unlawful Sexual activity which is mostly done to women whereas sodomy is the unlawful sexual activity for men. In Kenya, all age groups have reported cases of Rape and sodomy. It is an Illegal and uncouth behavior.

In my research I interviewed two ladies and a gentleman who talked to me about their rape and sodomy experiences. According to the Gentleman he was sodomized by a close relative when his mom left him to go to work.

From the two ladies one of them revealed that she was sexually assaulted by a Christian neighbor who was well known in the church. The other lady was raped by a cousin whom she was always entrusted to by her mom whenever the mom needed to rush to town.

Most people who have been sexually assaulted were raped by people they trusted because they were close to. Bottom line is it’s the people closest to us that are out to harm us.

In Kenya, most cases of rapes aren’t reported because of fear from the threats the victims receive from their abusers and if by any chance a case is reported, nothing really is done. MOST of these offenders get to “walk”.

Many people open up to rape experiences after years of suffering mainly because of the trauma they undergo.

They are also afraid of the outcomes after speaking up. We have seen celebrities in Kenya speak up about their experiences years later.

An example is the TV host Nana Owiti who admitted that opening up about her assault wasn’t easy. It was a very painful memory that she struggled to erase from her mind and opening up about it just opened up fresh wounds.

Many at times when one is raped/ sodomized he/she sees herself/himself as useless. Many Prefer keeping the wound to themselves rather than sharing.

Everything has a impact. Rape And sodomy leaves a negative impact on the abused especially on their health. The victims are left at a risk of contracting HIV/Aids among many others Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Victims of rape tend to withdraw. If the victim is a child you find that she or he prefers not to play and stay in one place. If the victim is a teenage they tend to run to alcoholism and drug abuse among other unhealthy addictions to forget their sorrows. Some even prefer to lock themselves rather than spending time with others. The results of this is and not limited to depression which could lead to the victim committing suicide.

Victims of rape end up developing trust issues. Even when they overcome the past traumas they end up not giving in fully.

Loving and making new friends becomes an elephant task for them. Most of these ladies end up single and lonely if the pain gets the best or them.

In men depression becomes really bad seeing that they are mostly afraid of opening up to wounds because of fear of being judged.

Men make alcohol their best friend and numb away pain. According to my findings one said he rather die than open up about his past .

What can we possibly do to fight this demons of rape and sodomy??

The first thing would be to give a leaning shoulder to victims and really listening to those that are ready to open up; not pressuring them but waiting until they’re “ready”.

Creating facilities that can act as rescue centers for people who are afraid of going home after a rape case. This should also include Guidance centers to prevent mental crisis for the victims.

In Kenya when rape victims are rushed to the hospital they are required to get a p3 from the police station in which in absence of this P3 form one receives services from the hospital. Why not have these forms at the hospital; this way, we save a lot of time

Educating our children on the importance of consent during sexual intercourse is the ultimate way to curb rape.

Lastly appreciating and loving victims of rape helps to build and strengthen their self esteem and even makes them feel comfortable enough to share their experiences.

Let’s advocate for a better society a society that understands consent. change starts with me and you. Dear victims of rape and sodomy you are all warriors. I stand for change and justice.

Many Young girls in Kenya, lack Menstrual hygiene education. Some lack sanitary towels while others lack undergarments to use while on their monthly flows. This is a challenge many families are trying to Overcome.

Campaigns on menstrual health would help a lot of girls; they would have knowledge on what to do and what not to do.

Holding campaigns will Pass the message to others as well as enlightening them more on what they don’t know.

Sanitary Drives.

Holding drives regularly will help reduce the burden of poor families who are already overburdened by Basic needs. All in all men should be involved

Making sanitary towels free of charge in public places eg in hospitals schools .Many at times women and young ladies receive their periods unexpectedly.This brings tention and unease.having Pad booths would help slot this would reduce time and save money for the poor unstable families.

it’s my humble appeals to His Excellency Hon Uhuru M.Kenyatta to hear the cries of young voiceless ladies out here.Lets make menstrual hygiene a human issue not a gender issue

Body shaming is the act of deriding or mocking ones personal appearance. There are Various types of body shaming. Fat shaming , Height shaming and Look shaming. Shaming could go beyond that; one can be shamed because of Pierces Hairstyles and dressing.

Body shaming is a uncouth behavior that needs to be Stopped. In Kenya, many people including celebrities have been humiliated because of their body shapes. An example is the Genge ton artist Mejja who in various media Interviews have opened up on his past. He revealed that students used to laugh at his body shape which affected his Social life negatively.

Another Example is the daughter to Betty Kyalo who was mocked on the internet for being “plum”.

In my research I Interviewed some people and they opened up on how they were body shamed.

Height shaming and look shaming aren’t common but people still face these kinds of shaming. This could either be intentional or unintentional; intentional where one harasses another because of their height or body size and unintentional when one prefers a certain body size and detests another. An example of unintentional body shaming could be most ladies preferring taller men to shorter men. An example of Intentional body shaming could be deliberately judging some men for having a feminine look rather than a masculine one and vice versa.

isn’t Men aren’t to be excused either for quite a number of them body shame women for being tall, some prefer shorter women to taller women; they might say it to their faces or not but it doesn’t make it OKAY. In addition, others shame women for being thicker than thin and vice versa. We all undergo body shaming in various ways.

In High school one of the interviewer opened up on how she was mocked for having stretch marks. This pulled her grades down and made her hate herself.

Children also body shame their agemates. In one of my interviews I found out how one was given a nickname “Big lips” by his fellow peers. It’s something he was afraid of opening up because of lack of a support system in his former public school.

Body shaming denies one of happiness and a normal life. Many at times body shaming comes up in the most funniest ways. It could be during a normal talk and someone comments on another person’s big tummy, they call them “Lotto Tanks” and you see what this does is it lowers the self esteem of the victim.

Hating oneself is another consequence of body shaming. One lacks the purpose of living and doesn’t think positively towards him/herself. This also brings about inner stress and fake smiles.

Ever heard of the saying “Niko sawa” from a friend or relative? Well most of the time the “Niko sawa” hides a lot of pain. These people who are body shamed end up losing their bubbly self, withdrawing, looking for other alternatives to make them feel better like self-harming which could lead to death when the pressure is too much especially from social media. Sadly, we have seen so many victims go down because of these “Keyboard warriors” on Twitter.

Body shaming is a topic that should be part of a health physical topic.

We should accept people for whom they are whether big or small, tall or Short ,dark or brown, Fat or slim.

Holding campaigns against Each kind of body shaming would educate a lot of people on what to not say about others.

Educating youths and children on Ways to live with each other without Shaming others.

We can also try talking and Accepting friends for whom they are whether

Body shaming is something that can be stopped in Kenya and the world.lets campaign and stop body shaming .

Say no to body shaming normalize telling your friends and close family you love them for whom they are. Be a Good influence to everyone because we are all Beautiful handsome and sexy in our own ways.

Last but not the least,

“We never joke about someone’s background, body or choice of life style”

Many

We all desire to change.Change is a dreamjob to others.Even the richest Person in earth Long to change his bed and clothes .Change is something others are denied of. Change comes in different forms. Others long for a change of environment ,others want change in diet ,while others want change in Lifestyle.But what does it take for a change in a female Teenager?.Many young teenagers in the face of Africa lack sanitary towels.This denies them of a happy change.Lets make a better change for them